Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Good morning to you.

Isn't it funny how important sleep becomes once you are a parent? Before Isabella I could sleep for three hours one night, get up, and function like a normal human being. But now, oh Lord, it isn't that simple. Is she getting enough sleep? Is she sleeping in the right position? Is the room the right temperature? Is she getting too much sleep? Did I feed her before I put her down? Did I change her diaper? Is her swaddle too tight? Is she falling asleep at the right times? Am I waking her up at the right time? Isn't that what being a parent feels like? It's a constant never ending list of questions that we keep asking ourselves all day long.

Last night Isabella slept from a little after ten, till a little before eight this morning. You think I would be jumping for the stars (and with that much sleep, I certainly feel like I could) but instead I woke up it seems like fifty times during the night to check to make sure she was still breathing. I would place my hand on her chest, I would lower my head down to her little face to listen, or I would place my finger beneath her nose to feel for air. And once I did wake up this morning, and so did she, I got so worried that she had slept for too long. Is that even possible? Can a baby sleep for too long of a period and not wake themselves up?

So instead of being filled with joy at the fact that my daughter has now slept thru two nights, I'm scared that she has slept for too long. Welcome to being a parent I suppose... never will I ever have a moment when I'm not worrying.

When I went to wake her up, I peeked over the crib, and there was an angelic smile to welcome me. Isn't that just the best way to start your day? Their little smiles warm your heart and make you realize that there isn't a thing in the world worth being mad about, or taking the time to fret over. It's something about seeing yourself in them, and knowing that they are that happy just to see your face. It's true love in its purest form. And that makes all those sleepless long nights ok. Even those nights when nothing works, and they scream and scream. Once they smile at you or giggle, it's all suddenly ok, and you remember why you wanted to do all of this in the first place.

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